I have finally figured it out. I am not aromantic. Not even close really.
I feel love so deeply that I had convinced myself I was doing it wrong.
I was pushing it out and refusing to believe that what this was is love.
I look back fondly on the moments when I loved my former partners.
Moments that I will never be able to forget, and I never want to either.
I hope in my final moments when I die that I am able to think about love.
...
There are so many types of love that I have been scared of my whole life.
I was scared of loving my friends growing up, is loving a friend too much?
I became scared of loving partners too, did they even want to love me too?
I was always scared though, to love myself and to express my love to others.
Was I too much when I expressed it, was I expressing my love incorrectly?
I never know really.
...
But I do know love.
I know her warm embrace when I least expect it to feel her blissful radiance.
I feel her in my weakest moments, where I feel abandoned and hopeless.
I see her in my strongest experiences, pure smiles and soft gentle expressions.
I remember her in the memories, a feeling that truly never can decay with time.
I know love as something that will never die, only pass from person to person.
I'll live with love.