Disclaimer: This article is a heavy one, talking about anti-trans legislation and its mental impacts. While I do not discuss anything regarding my physical and mental health in detail, please be aware that the included reading attached to this piece is extremely informative but can also be slightly jarring or even triggering to some as it discusses mental health and coping/lack of ability to. Excluding the research paper provided, names are generalized (i.e. 'My friend', 'My college' etc), please do not seek to expose personal information.
Being trans often feels miserable. Not because I am dysphoric, or because my goals take time, no. It is miserable because we are not just fighting our own body and mind, but other people's selfish and hysterical actions as an attempt to wipe us from the face of reality. You'd have to be living under a rock to be oblivious to the reality that is intense legislation pushed against being trans. Whether it is a bathroom bill or a full-on delegitimization of our existence, there is a relentless pushback with effects that an average onlooker may miss.
Let's start with the obvious: legislation makes our lives harder. If we are told we cannot change our name, get hormones, or even identify in an affirming way, that is ultimately the easiest way to show the attempt to erase us. As I write this, there are 351 active bills in 37 states being proposed in an attempt to pass, with one already making it through (Ohio, HB68) after being vetoed. Most of these bills currently just affect those under the age of 18. Don't get this confused though, it's a small step as they push the envelope to 21, 25, and then all ages. Hell, HB68 affects trans athletes at all levels.
Most of these thankfully do not pass or are overturned in the courts. Yet many will overlook a secondary effect of these bills: media coverage and mental health. trans people make up around 1-2% of the global population (and this is considered an overestimate) although most right-wing media is about our existence. Passing or not, bills, media, and news, all have effects on how we are treated, perceived, and how we feel.
'Have You Heard The News?' is a published research piece on the effects of news with recent legislation and its effects on trans youth and young adults. I suggest reading the article yourself, it's extremely digestible for the average reader and can be eye-opening for many who may not realize how impactful these laws really are. Nevertheless, I'll toss you a few of the most important points: trans people are scared of the dangers and impacts of disclosing their identities, and recent legislation that attempts to prohibit access to care affects the health of trans youth/young adults. Not only that but there's a perceived increase of willingness for people to harass, discriminate, and mistreat youth. It felt eye-opening but also "no duh" because from personal experiences I've found that in the past three years, I've witnessed an increased willingness to mistreat me.
I worked the same job for the past three summers. It involved significant interaction with others, and in 2021 and 2022 my treatment was pretty normal. I pissed a few people off doing my job, but it wasn't influenced by my identity, just denying them access to facilities. I managed a pool along with verifying their membership to the pool, so I'd upset people here and there when I wouldn't let them in due to unpaid fees. In 2023 though I witnessed something entirely different. Disgruntled persons that would usually just go "I'll call your boss" instead would make snide comments about me, "Whatever you are", "it", "you thing", "you crossdresser" all legitimate comments directed toward me. I wasn't doing my job differently, yet I was being treated worse by people who did not know me and had interacted with me for years prior.
Who knows if they truly meant the things they said, or if the media they consumed skewed their views subconsciously. To question that though is meaningless, because it affected me. What should have been a simple job would bring me to tears. I felt like a freak because children and adults alike would make these weird comments toward me for the first time despite presenting outwardly all 3 years. Yet I'll push through this because I'm hopeful for what my future will bring. Most importantly, I'm excited about what hormones will bring.
And ultimately affirming care is what keeps a lot of us going, but it's hard to hold on to this when we are witnessing it being taken from us. “I would kill myself without gender-affirming care, it's the only thing worth living for: the potential that someday I might be able to be myself.” (Pulled from attached research; Table 6, Illustrative Quote). There's no real way to cope with this healthily. We're told to avoid news at best, but therapists can only do so much to support us. I personally have found that my mental health is at an all-time low. I haven't felt this terrible in six years, and for the first time, it feels like my therapist is at a loss for what to do. She is helping of course (it's her job, and she's amazing at it), but there's only so much she can do. She can't understand exactly how I feel, and she can't stop this legislation from passing.
I could continue endlessly about how fucked up it is that people care that deeply about what's in our pants; the fetishization, demonization, and endless physical and mental struggles we face. And yet I seek to level my head, and remind myself of the cliche yet very real concept of "existence is resistance". Many are unable to exist freely currently. Hostile home, work, and legal environments can shut us into the closet. Thankfully there are ways to exist beyond that. Social media has given many a space to exist even partially, giving a space to those who may not normally get it. For those who can live freely, there's often a sense of living with such intensity that it passes to others, some even live vicariously. It makes you look at how we cannot be removed from the world. This feeling can be draining admittedly. Yet there are endless creators out there that exist in resistance. Endless pieces of writing, art, animation, tutorials, documentation, music, and more.
So I propose a coping strategy often overlooked: the ability to create. There are millions of unique ways we experience, describe, and express our identity. The highs, the lows, and the foundations of what make us who we are. Write about what encompasses your identity. Draw what is a part of you. Create something that cannot be destroyed. They may tear at us, but they cannot take our ability to express. The hate we face requires intense and ever-finite energy to create, yet the love we exude is endless, and thus unfortunately the burden is on us to show that. Read/digest what you must regarding legislation, but above all else please create.
If you're in the mental headspace for it, I beg you to read the research cited in this article. It's crushing, nevertheless, it's real. It's everywhere. Talk about it, and spread it to others.
To my allies? Scream out for us when we can't. That's your job now. Get mad about what's happening, show others who don't know why it's so screwed up. Protect your trans friends and family. Show us that despite the legislation, despite the hate, despite it all, we are worth love.
A note: This article is stretching outside my comfort zone. I'm mixing my writing style with also partial discussion of research in a casual manner. It's rough around the edges, and I'm admittedly drained even editing this now. This isn't easy to talk about. None of this is. If you're struggling with everything happening I truly suggest you reach out to a therapist and/or clinical provider if you can and haven't already.
Dhanani, L.Y., Totton, R.R. Have You Heard the News? The Effects of Exposure to News About Recent Transgender Legislation on Transgender Youth and Young Adults. Sex Res Soc Policy 20, 1345–1359 (2023). https://doi.org/10.1007/s13178-023-00810-6